End of Suppositions

End of Suppositions

(An Un-Valentine’s Day Poem)

By Leslie Williams

In case you were wondering how I’m doing…

Drowning in this pool of hopelessness and misery

(On Valentine’s Day, no less)

Causes me to dwell on what once was.

Those nebulous and insecure feelings I had for you,

All those times that you made me question myself

Because of your irresolute yes’s and no’s…

Do I love her or do I not…

Because of your obvious avarice for

My heart, my time, my love, my…ALL

To completely consume me

Without allowing me to have a

Piece of you…

For that, I do not forgive you.

Each day, I have tried to recapitulate our relationship

Into a few pathetic lines of verse

Only to find that there was too

Much to us to summarize

Especially on such an

Empty page.

Yes, you were cunning.

Yes, you were astute

In your feigned conveyance of love for me.

Your tendency to equivocate your statements,

Leading me to decide for myself whether you

Loved me or not,

Must

Be

Forgotten.

I have no desire to resuscitate my relationship

With you

Even if I am hurting

Within.

Not just my heart but my pride.

I built you up to be more

Than you ever could be

By giving you ceaseless adulations

Always overlooking your slovenly ways

That drove me crazy.

Now, I realize that your heart

(if you want to call it that)

Is a landfill of penury, where

You are not capable of loving anyone…

Well, at least not me.

My emptiness will soon abate…

according to what “they” say.

But the honest anathema that this

No longer novice lover has will not soon

Disappear.

No, it is no evanescent thing where I will

One day look at you with longing.

My egregious pity for you will be quite obvious

Though I long for these dilatory feelings

To make themselves known now.

Please, right now…

Do I find you culpable for my pain?

Do I want you to suffer as I have?

To say that I want you to

Feel what I feel

See what I see

Would be a pretentious answer

To your unasked question.

I want you to feel worse

For the obviousway

That you cast me aside.

Perhaps if you had known me better,

You would have realized that my

Resentment

Lies dormant, hidden, torpid…

Waiting to be awakened by one

Who dares to trample on my

And they lived happily ever after heart…

**Side note: this poem was written as a vocabulary test for my students using one of the units from the Vocabulary Workshop Level F. The vocabulary words were left out, and they had to fill in the blanks based on the context clues. They could work together, but they were still frustrated.